Conánn FitzPatrick

Update: Written in early 2004 this page is painfully out of date. Definitely not doing enough painting.

This is a new one to me... I just got up mid sentence, picked up a cloth and some turps, and whipped away the work I did yesterday on a painting. It had been bothering me but I needed time to decide what it was about it that I did not like and what the solution would be. In the process I was able to burn off some frustration and energy but the painting looks as good now as it did earlier the day before I made the ugly choice.

That's the beauty of working in oil it forgives absolutely and without question. It's the only medium I have worked with that has let me know from the outset that I have absolutely no control over it and I may as well get used to it now and get on with making pictures. The only limitation within oil painting is me! If it looks wrong? My fault! Taking too long? That would be me. I can't blame the machine, the operating system or the company, there are several hundred years of examples to prove to me that I just need to figure out how to get it done.

The smell of turpentine in the room reminds me of my last adventure with the paint and invites me to do more. You can walk up and do a bit whenever you feel like it stop when you need. The consistency of the paint changes so much with every hour that you have to always be open to it, I can be in any mood when I start but when I am done my head is clear. I really never thought I would get the chance to start painting, other people did it and it always looked a little magical and extremely difficult. The first year or so of learning was horrendous; I look back at the work and wonder what kept me going other then arrogant delusion. The only thing I can salvage from those paintings is that they let me see a learning curve, and as long as today's work is better then the month or year before I will be happy and greatfull.